Putin Believes Negotiating with U.S. Would Be More uncomplicated if He Had a Pee Tape of Biden

MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Vladimir Putin thinks that negotiating with the USA could be “such a lot more uncomplicated” if he possessed a pee tape of President Joe Biden, the Russian chief has showed.

Chatting with newshounds about his long telephone dialog with Biden referring to Ukraine, Putin mentioned, “I saved pondering to myself, I want I had a pee tape of this man.”

After putting up with the U.S. President, Putin ordered Russian intelligence officers to scour their archives for a Biden pee tape, however they got here up empty.

“They principally discovered numerous photos of him pronouncing issues he didn’t imply to mention,” Putin mentioned. “Not anything nice.”

The Russian President mentioned that the absence of a Biden pee tape will make Russia’s dealings with the USA “tougher.”

“It’s what it’s,” he mentioned wistfully.

Extra Satire from the Borowitz Document